"Do you know when you have two lives? Like on your left, you have this life—and on your right side, a completely different life…" Ataa describes how she felt crossing the border of Syria and Jordan.
As Syria’s uprising turned into full-scale war, hundreds of thousands of civilians were forced into impossible choices—many leaving homes, jobs, and dreams behind. The Jordanian border opened to receive a growing wave of displaced Syrians, with Zaatari Camp becoming one of the largest refugee settlements in the world.
This episode of The Archive Speaks enters that moment through one young woman’s experience.
In the second part of the 4-part series of Ataa’s Story, titled The Border Between Two Lives, we hear how Ataa’s life shifted in the aftermath of being shot by a sniper while walking to the library. With her body still healing and her future in Syria uncertain, her family made the decision to leave for Jordan. Ataa, however, did not feel ready—emotionally or otherwise.
She reflects on the tension of that time: her resistance to leaving, the family disagreements that surfaced, and the grief of parting with a life she still believed in. She speaks candidly about her older brother, who blamed her for prioritizing education over safety—and who stayed behind to fight. She also recalls the gentleness of her mother, who promised, “Just one month. We’ll come back.”
Crossing the border with her parents and younger brother, Ataa brought only what mattered most: her books, her hopes, her quiet refusal to accept the permanence of exile. Her arrival in Zaatari was not marked by relief, but by mourning—for the version of herself left behind.
In the background of Ataa’s personal story is a pattern experienced by many displaced women: being moved before they're ready, being expected to hold the emotional weight of family survival, and stepping—often silently—into the role of decision-maker and protector. This is not just a story of loss. It is a story of transition, of emerging leadership, and of reluctant resilience.
What You’ll Hear in This Episode
Ataa’s reflections on being urged to leave Syria after her injury
Conflict within her family around safety, autonomy, and blame
The emotional weight of leaving behind her studies and identity
Her early arrival and adaptation to life in Zaatari Camp
The beginnings of her transition into leadership and responsibility
Why This Story Matters
Displacement often unfolds not as a moment, but as a process—layered with hesitation, memory, and unfinished conversations. Ataa’s story reveals how women in displacement carry far more than physical survival. They hold family, preserve identity, and navigate roles they didn’t seek but often embrace with strength.
In The Archive Speaks, we recognize displaced women not just as survivors of war, but as witnesses, caretakers, and community leaders. Listening to their stories shifts how we understand conflict—and whose voices we center when telling its story.
Sources
These oral histories reflect the personal memories and truths of those who tell them, shaped by time, trauma, and resilience. The Refugee Archive holds space for these voices without political alignment or editorial interference. To support listeners in understanding the broader context of what is shared, we’ve included a selection of publicly available sources that document the historical, political, and social events referenced in this episode. These materials are meant to offer background—not interpretation.
Doocy, Shannon, et al. “Health Service Access and Utilization among Syrian Refugees in Jordan.” PLoS Medicine Central, Nov. 2013, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3818785/.
Syrians for Truth and Justice. “Syria: The National Union of Syrian Students as a Tool of Repression in Syrian Universities.” Syrians for Truth and Justice, 29 Mar. 2022, https://stj-sy.org/en/syria-the-national-union-of-syrian-students-as-a-tool-of-repression-in-syrian-universities/.
United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR). “Syria: As Journey to Safety Gets More Dangerous by the Day, Refugees Keep Coming.” UNHCR, https://www.unhcr.org/news/stories/syria-journey-safety-gets-more-dangerous-day-refugees-keep-coming.
Human Rights Watch. “Jordan: Syrians Blocked, Stranded in Desert.” Human Rights Watch, 3 June 2015, https://www.hrw.org/news/2015/06/03/jordan-syrians-blocked-stranded-desert.
UNHCR. “Syria: As Journey to Safety Gets More Dangerous by the Day, Refugees Keep Coming.” YouTube, uploaded by UNHCR,
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